Week 10: Now You See ME, Now You Don't
When I was in high school, I went to this camp for a week, and met Susan. Susan was unlike anyone I had ever met before. She was completely, 100% real. She was honest to a fault, and would say things that no one else would dare to say. She had no filter. Due to her brutally honest comments, people didn't always like her, but I did. I thought it was completely refreshing to be around someone and not have to wonder what they really thought.
For this week's theme, I wanted to explore the concept of vulnerability. I sometimes claim that I am an open book, that people could ask me anything and I would answer. I do think I am a mostly real and honest person, but the truth is that we all put on an act to some degree. I smile and answer "Good", when people ask how I'm doing, even on days when I'm anything but "good". I laugh politely at jokes I don't find funny. When people do things to upset me, I often keep those feelings inside, instead of confronting them. I worry about how people will perceive me at times, and act certain ways based on those worries. I keep some things secret.
I know that everyone around me is doing the same thing. I often wish we could be more vulnerable with each other. I would like to have less surface conversations, and more honest, deep dialogue. I would like people to feel safe enough with me to let down their walls, and I would like to do the same. I miss Susan. I wonder what she would say about this photograph, that is portraying me a very "real" way, completely vulnerable, and yet still hidden.
