Week 18 : Motherhood & ME
*Things are going to be a bit different this week, due to Mother's Day. I will post the new theme tomorrow morning, and member photos tomorrow evening. Hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day with their families.
I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I wrote a poem about it in 2nd grade that made my teacher cry. I'm a planner and I had a plan. I would be married no later than 25. I would have my first child at 26 or 27, and my next at 28 or 29. I even thought about what month I would like them to be born in (May). What I discovered again and again in life is that "life is what happens while you're busy making plans". Like most other things in my life, becoming a mom did not go according to my plans. Jim and I got married when I was 29. We didn't start "trying" (a word I came to loathe later) until I was 31.
For a couple years we "tried" and we failed... at least that's what it felt like to me each month... another failure. I smiled outwardly and cried behind closed doors as I heard other couples happy news again and again. I cringed each time someone would innocently ask "Do you have children?" Then came the tests. Then we started saving up for adoption. Then we decided to try an IUI. We agreed to try it 3 times and if nothing happened after 3 tries, we would move forward. Then we went through the disappointment of a failed first attempt. The second time around, I was determined to be positive, even though my heart was heavy and my spirit weak. The morning I left for the procedure I kissed Jim goodbye and remarked "Bye! I'm going to go get pregnant now!" And... I did.
I became a mom to a boy who can never be still, whose laugh makes my heart sing, who is sweet, and smart, and adventurous, and affectionate, and who drives me completely crazy, and who I can't imagine life without. Being a mom is the hardest and best job that I have ever had, and I love it.